Pig
by BarettaVendetta
Summary: A series of drabbles following a year in the life of Ino Yamanaka as she converts to Judaism in order to marry her lover, Chouji. AU, lemons. NB - I've put author's notes in to explain some of the terms.
1. The Shiksa Goddess

_Chouji should have known his parents weren't going to take the news well._

"_You're thinking of getting _married?" _Chouza exclaimed. Megumi buried her head in her hands. _

"_Well, nothing's confirmed as yet," said Chouji, "but Ino and I, we've been together for ages, and, well...it's serious, Dad. I know she's the one. And we've talked about this for a long time. Besides, I thought you and Mum liked her."_

"_It's not that we don't like her," said Chouza. "She's a perfectly nice girl from a good family. But she's not Jewish. She's a shiksa. A shiksa whose name means 'pig', noch."_

_Chouji winced. "Don't call her that, Dad. And anyway...she wants to convert. That's what I was going to tell you. We've talked with Rabbi Nara about it and OK, he was a bit cagey at first 'cos he worried we might break up, but I told him we were serious."_

_Chouza sighed. "Well," he said, "if that's the case, good for the both of you. But I hope she realises what a serious commitment she's making. Once you're in, you're in. She's going to have to make a lot of changes."_

"_She will, Dad," said Chouji, smiling. "She will. Trust me."_

**Author's note: **

**- Shiksa: a derogatory term for a non-Jewish woman**


	2. Tishrei: A New Year

"_B'Rosh Hashana yikoteivun, b'Yom tzom Kippur yikoteimun..._" Ino looks down at her prayer book, trying to work out what the congregation are singing. _On Rosh Hashana_, the translation says, _we consider how judgement is formed; on Yom Kippur, we consider how judgement is sealed._

It has been agreed between Ino, Chouji and Rabbi Nara that Ino would attend Konoha Synagogue for a full Jewish year, in order to get 'the full Jewish experience'. _It was fair enough_, she thinks; _if I'm going to convert to Judaism, I might as well get the practice in._ She's been going to synagogue with Chouji for about a year now, on and off, and Rabbi Nara has told her that she needs to attend all the festival services if she's going to convert.

She watches Chouza, her fiance's father, standing on the bimah, shofar in hand, as Rabbi Nara says the blessing. He's been picked to blow it this year. It's a great honour, Chouji says; everyone has to hear the shofar on Rosh Hashana.

"_Tekiah!_" calls Rabbi Nara, and Ino winces as Chouza blows a long blast on the shofar and the screeching wail goes through her head. It sounds like the sirens that go off in Konoha during a crisis. The shofar sounds over and over again, with one super-long blast at the end. Chouji smiles proudly at his father, who's out of breath and grinning.

Later, in bed, she and Chouji feed each other apples dipped in honey, Chouji taking her sticky fingers in his mouth and sucking them.

**Author's note:**

**Rosh Hashana: the first day of the Jewish New Year**

**Yom Kippur: the Day of Atonement**

**Bimah: raised platform in a synagogue where the rabbi and/or the Torah readers stand**

**Shofar: a horn, usually a ram's horn, that is blown in synagogue on Rosh Hashana and Yom Kippur**

**Tekiah: a single, long-ish blast on the shofar**


	3. Cheshvan: Decisions

Seeing her fellow shinobi fighting and killing and dying used to make Ino think that if there was any god or gods out there, he, she or they weren't watching over Konoha. Now, she is not so sure. Even before she and Chouji became serious, she had wondered if there was something in what he and Shikamaru (who went through a faith crisis in his teens – being a rabbi's son probably does that to you, she reckons) and Tenten and Naruto – who is now Reverend Uzumaki - and all the other religious kids believed.

"You do believe it all, don't you?" Chouji asks her. "I mean, you're not just doing this to pacify my parents."

"A little of Column A, a little of Column B," says Ino. "But mainly Column A. If I wasn't comfortable with the idea of becoming a Jew, I wouldn't be doing this." And she means it. While she's still trying to get her head round the theological side of Judaism, the ritual side of it fascinates her, particularly the emphasis on food. She's always teased Chouji for liking his food, but now she's coming to understand that food isn't just fuel for Chouji, it's symbolism. During Yom Kippur, she had fasted alongside Chouji, and been surprised at how easily she had coped, while Chouji – despite having done the festival since he was a genin – was visibly miserable. She had joined him and his family and the Naras to break the fast, and Chouji's face at the sight of food, after twenty-six hours of going without, was one of the most adorable things she'd ever seen.


	4. Kislev: Chanukah

It is the fifth night of Chanukah, and Chouji and Ino are sharing a box of jam doughnuts – or rather, Ino takes one and Chouji eats the rest. She doesn't mind. He's got to keep his strength up. They're due out on an escort and espionage mission in a few hours' time with Kakashi Hatake in charge, so the festivities are cut short tonight. Five candles, green, purple, yellow, red and white, burn on the Akimichi head family's menorah.

Kakashi is an old mate of her, Chouji's and Shikamaru's fathers, an affable but distant and somewhat enigmatic man who's as distant from G-d as Naruto, his old student, is close. While Naruto preaches love and forgiveness and salvation through Jesus, Kakashi is deeply cynical about the existence of any kind of benevolent god, and has long given up believing, ever since his father's suicide and his team mate Obito's death, although he still visits the boy's gravestone every day. His and Naruto's relationships with the Almighty, Shikamaru says, are in direct proportion to each other. Naruto still prays for Sasuke's soul. Kakashi has long since given up any hope of the missing-nin's salvation, as has Sakura. Ino can't help but feel sad for him, particularly knowing how, despite everything he had been through, he was still willing to sacrifice himself for Chouji when that bastard with the piercings invaded Konoha. Chouji once confessed to Ino that he had had nightmares for ages after that incident.

_Faith, _she reminds herself, _isn't for everyone. If it hadn't been for Chouji...would I have learned to believe?_

Chouji scarfs down the last doughnut and wipes his sticky mouth with the back of his hand.

"Let's go."

**Author's note:**

**Chanukah: Jewish festival of lights**

**Menorah: a candlestick with nine branches - one for each night of Chanukah, plus an extra candle in the middle**


	5. Tevet: Families

Ino is drinking coffee with her old mate Sakura, now her work colleague at Konoha Hospital. They sit in the canteen, Sakura fanning her drink with a sheaf of forms the Hokage has given her. They talk about Sakura's boyfriend, Lee, who's in hospital yet again after overzealous training - "I swear, that boy shouldn't be allowed out without a lead," Sakura moans – what Ino's favourite childhood idol is doing these days, the Hokage's moodswings, and then talk turns to Ino's conversion.

"So how're your parents taking the whole thing?" asks Sakura.

"Better than I thought," says Ino. "Daddy teases me a bit about the fact that I can't eat pork, since our name is 'pig', but that's Daddy for you, he always did have a crap sense of humour."

Sakura raises an eyebrow. "So they're not on at you about rejecting Jesus or anything?"

"Fuck no," Ino laughs. "They're not like, I dunno, Hinata's parents. Daddy was never religious anyway. And Chouza and the rabbi were never bothered."

"Shame Naruto can't get married," says Sakura. "Hinata always had a bit of a thing for him. But then he's not Catholic, so Hiashi would probably go spare." She pauses, and sips her drink. Then she says, "How are things going with Chouji's parents?"

"They're nicer these days," says Ino, "now that they know I'm serious." Chouza and Megumi, realising that Ino is making a genuine effort and commitment, have relaxed towards her and asked her to call them by their first names. When she told Inoichi this, he had said, "They probably see you as one of the family now."

"Do you see Chouji as one of the family?" she'd asked him.

"Of course," Inoichi had replied. "The Akimichi and Nara are like extended families to us anyway, we go back that far." He'd placed his hand on Ino's and added, "He's a good bloke. You did well to pick him."


	6. Shvat: Delicious Fruits

Ino and Chouji are carrying – or 'schlepping', as Chouza would say – shopping bags loaded with fruit. Tu B'Shvat, the Festival of Trees, takes place on the fifteenth of the month, Chouji has explained to her, and it's a longtime Akimichi tradition to eat fifteen kinds of fruit. There are apples, grapes, cherries, a pineapple (she and Chouji joke about how it looks like Shikamaru's head), tangerines, oranges, dates, persimmon, kiwi fruit and mangoes imported from Kazenokuni, lychees, peaches, bananas, pomegranates, and a coconut.

Chouza is on duty and Megumi is on shift at Konoha Hospital, so Ino and Chouji have the house to themselves. He channels chakra into his fist and smashes the coconut in two, and they drink its sweet milk. Naked, they feed each other fruit, dangling grapes and cherries over each other's mouths, unpeeling tangerines and oranges, their hands becoming sticky with the juice of citrus and mangoes and peaches. Ino breakes a pomegranate in two, mashes it into Chouji's cock, and then unpeels a banana, wraps her lips around it and sucks. Unsubtle, but Chouji gets the hint. He takes an unpeeled banana, and Ino spreads her legs and arches her back as Chouji inserts the fruit into her. He fucks her with the banana, and then he removes it, pulls her onto him, and they make love on the Akimichis' sitting room floor amid the rinds and stones, their bodies and faces still sticky with juice.

**Author's note:**

**Schlep: Yiddish word which means 'carry' or 'trek'**

**Tu B'Shvat: literally, 'fifteenth of the month of Shvat'**


	7. Adar: Hangover

Ino wakes up in Chouji's bed with a splitting headache. Last night was Purim, and she only has a vague memory of the festivities – she recalls dressing up as a _yuki-onna_, while Chouji wore fairy wings, a tutu and a tiara. His father had been a _kemonomimi_ with cat ears, Rabbi Nara – who had earlier conducted the Purim service and read the Megillah – a shinigami, Shikamaru some kind of forest spirit with leaves in his hair and a green kimono, Temari a courtesan, and both Tenten and Temari's brother, Kankuro, who had come to visit from Sunagakure, were in drag. Tenten, remarking that 'he looks better in a dress than I do, the bastard', had given herself a charcoal moustache and Lee-ish eyebrows, and had procured a top hat from somewhere.

The Jewish shinobi and civilians at the service had brought pots and pans to bang every time Rabbi Nara mentioned the word 'Haman' – the bad guy in the story, if Ino recalled correctly. Afterwards, there had been sake and wine and cocktails and fuck knows what else, and she and Chouji had had drunken sex, and she had worried that she was going to throw up, but luckily it was a false alarm. Ino hates looking like a tit in front of anyone, especially the man she loves.

She wraps herself in Chouji's jacket and goes to the bathroom to get herself a glass of water. She can't remember the last time she got so pissed – she thinks it was probably when she and Sakura became chuunin, and she had stroked Sakura's back in the ladies' toilets of their local as Sakura vomited copiously. Never could handle her drink, that girl. The Akimichi, on the other hand, had a reputation for being pissheads. Chouji probably isn't going to have much of a hangover. She envies him.

**Author's note:**

**Purim: Jewish Festival of Lots, in which it is customary to dress up and drink a lot**

**Yuki-onna: Japanese snow woman**

**Kemonomimi: a human with animal ears and/or a tail**

**Megillah: the scroll containing the Purim story**

**Haman: king who plotted to massacre the Jews of Persia**


	8. Nisan: The Seder

It is the first night of Passover, and Ino and Chouji have been invited to the Akimichi and Nara head families' joint seder. As clan head and Jounin Commander, Chouza and Rabbi Nara are leading the seder jointly, though everyone participates. Shikamaru, as the youngest Jewish person present, sings _Mash Nishtana_, and he, Temari, Ino and Chouji play the role of the four children; Shikamaru is the good one, Temari the wicked one, Chouji the stupid one, and Ino, the newcomer, the one who cannot speak. The others take her through the haggadah and the symbolism of the seder plate; the charoset – a sweet mush that tastes far nicer than it looks, made to an old Sunagakure recipe – for mortar, the salt water for tears, wasabi and lettuce for the bitterness of slavery, a roasted lamb bone and an egg for the old sacrifices in the Temple. She dips her finger in her glass of wine and spills drops to represent the ten plagues, dips her parsley in salt water and tries not to gurn as she eats a sandwich of wasabi and charoset.

The meal is a relaxed affair, the wine and conversation flowing freely. Temari is teasing Shikamaru about something and he and his father exchange a glance that says, "Women, what can you do with them?" Megumi and Ino talk Konoha Hospital, and the older woman seems genuinely interested in everything Ino says. She and Chouji, Ino thinks, could almost be two of a kind, with their wavy brown hair and round, open faces and spiral facial markings. Chouza says something inaudible to Ino, but presumably rude since Yoshino, the rabbi's wife, says, "So's your face," and Chouji goes bright red and groans, "_Daaaad._ Pack it in."

Tipsy on their four cups, Temari, the Naras and the Akimichis sing songs about freedom and Egyptians and something involving lots of animals and a shinigami, and Ino feels a little sad that her parents can't join in the fun.

**Author's note:**

**Passover: festival celebrating the freedom of the Jews from Egyptian slavery**

**Seder: a ritual meal that takes place on the first night of Passover**

**_Mah Nishtana_: song traditionally sung by the youngest child – 'why is this night different from all other nights?'**

**Haggadah: book that sets out the Passover seder**


	9. Iyar: Friday Night Dinner

Friday night, and Chouji, Ino, Megumi and Chouza are seated around the dinner table. Ino, as practice, has lit the candles, remembering to cover her eyes while she says the blessing.

They all join in with _Shalom Aleichem_ – fortunately, Ino's singing voice is much more easy on the ear than her dad's, and the tune is easy enough for her to remember – and then Chouji and Chouza stand up and sing, "A woman of worth, who can find her? For her price is far above rubies..." Chouji is looking directly at Ino as he sings, and it doesn't take mindreading jutsu to realise he means every word. If it was anyone else, she'd laugh or groan inwardly, but Chouji is different. He's so sincere, so sweet, every gesture filled with love.

There is wine, there is challah, there is homemade _yakiniku_. Chouji splits his last piece of meat with Ino. She remembers how he always used to insist on grabbing the last piece whenever Asuma took them out for _yakiniku_, saying the last morsel was the sweetest of all and smiling smugly at Ino while she yelled at him. Now Chouji's stinginess is a thing of the past. She's glad she started eating meat again.

The wine continues to flow, Ino and Chouji begin to feel flushed and aroused, and both tcouples decide to make an early night of it. As is the tradition on Friday nights, Ino and Chouji make love all over his bedroom - on the floor, up against the door, on his bed with her legs wrapped around his neck.

Meanwhile, Chouza and Megumi untangle themselves from each other, and Chouza chews a postcoital piece of gum and lays his arm around Megumi's shoulders as she snuggles into him.

"You know," Megumi says sleepily, "I'll be glad to have Ino in the family."

"Me too, love," says Chouza. "Me too."

**Author's note:**

**_Shalom Aleichem_: lit. 'peace be upon you', song traditionally sung on Friday nights, along with _Eishet Chayil_ ('A Woman of Worth'), which Chouji and Chouza are singing**

**Challah: special bread eaten on Shabbat, often containing honey and/or poppy seeds**

**Yakiniku: barbecued meat**


	10. Sivan: A Shinobi's Quandary

Shavuot. Ino, Shikamaru, Chouji and Temari are lounging around in the sitting room at the Nara compound, eating cheesecake and drinking coffee. Although Ino was always a strong student, she can't help but feel a bit intimidated by Temari after hearing her arguing scripture with Shikamaru. (Chouji, of course is more interested in the cheesecake, particularly the lemon one Shikamaru's mum made.) She remembers watching Temari in the Chuunin Exams and being amazed at her tactics. Not to mention that, like Shikamaru, she's related to a rabbi,although it's one of her brothers, not her father.

"So, how's the conversion going?" asks Temari, inevitably. "You looking forward to joining the tribe?"

"Hell yeah," laughs Ino. "'Course, it's been a bit difficult having to remember not to mix meat and dairy or eat seafood." Then a thought strikes her. "Not sure how this not going on missions on Shabbat malarkey is going to work out, though."

"Where did you get that idea?" asks Shikamaru.

"Because Jews aren't supposed to work on Shabbat, right?" says Ino. "And missions are work - I mean, we get paid for them and stuff and 'shinobi' is our job, right?"

"That," says Shikamaru, "is a grey area. Me and Dad have discussed this loads of times. It's all to do with the potential of saving life – of course, we as shinobi take life too if we must – but the one thing that you've got to remember about Jewish law is that saving life comes first."

"But where does being a shinobi come in?" Ino asks. "I mean, y'know, 'thou shalt not kill' and all that."

"It's perfectly legitimate to kill someone in self-defence," says Temari. "Hence why I killed that girl in the forest, not to mention it was to save _his_ arse," with a sly glance at Shikamaru. "Kill or be killed, you know? There's loads of examples of it in the Torah. It's something Gaara's been poring over for ages. He's done a few sermons on it, if I remember rightly."

"Anyway," Chouji chimes in, "you're a medic-nin, aren't you? You can do medical work any day of the week, even on Shabbos, 'cause you're saving lives. That's why Mum still does her weekend shifts at Konoha Hospital."

"Hmmmm." Ino frowns. "I guess I can always ask your dad next time I see him, Shikamaru."

"Go for it," Shikamaru said easily. "The old man won't mind. It is his job to answer questions, after all."

**Author's note:**

**- Shavuot: Jewish Festival of Weeks, in which it is traditional to study Torah and eat dairy foods**


	11. Tammuz and Av: Names

It is summer in Konoha, and Ino is working in the Yamanakas' flower shop. Once she has converted, although she will still be going on some missions, she will no longer be able to help Inoichi and Ayame out at weekends, although she isn't quitting the shop for good. She loves it far too much for that.

She surveys the flowers in their pots and cellophane wraps, and wonders what to choose for her Hebrew name. So many Hebrew names come from nature. The animals: Tzipporah, the bird; Ayelet, the deer – she seems to remember Chouji telling her that that was Shikamaru's mother's Hebrew name; Ariella, the lioness. The trees: Tamar, the palm tree, Hadassah, the myrtle, and Shaked, the almond tree. And then the flowers: Dalia; Irit, the daffodil; Marganit, the pimpernel; Vered, the rose; Rakefet, the cyclamen; Sigalit, the violet; and Shoshana, the lily.

She settles on Shoshana for her Hebrew name. As a florist, it's appropriate, and she's always liked lilies. Brought up surrounded by flowers and taught their language, she knows that the white ones stand for purity and innocence, the orange for hatred -plus there's the lily-of-the-valley, the one her mother said always reminded her of Ino, with its white petals. The flower of sweetness. And while Ino isn't particularly innocent, pure or hateful – at least, not these days – choosing a flower that symbolises sweetness for her Hebrew name is kind of apt, because it reminds her of Chouji. Good, kind, sweet-natured Chouji.


	12. Elul: Scarier than the Chuunin Exams

Ino and Chouji are sitting in Rabbi Nara's office. In a week's time, a new year will begin. Then there will be the High Holy Days, and after that it will be Ino's Beth Din date. Rabbi Nara takes her through the process; three rabbis will be sitting on a panel, and will ask Ino questions about her beliefs, her level of practice, and so forth ("don't expect it to be over-formal, though, it's not like you're being court-martialled before the Hokage"); she will read a passage of Hebrew ("something that means a lot to you, or if you can't think of anything, there's always the blessing for the Torah"); and then, if she passes – which they all know she will – she will be given her Hebrew name, and then she will go to the mikveh, the ritual bath that will signify her entrance into the Jewish faith.

"Are you nervous?" Rabbi Nara asks.

Ino wonders if she should be honest, and decides, _fuck it, this guy is my dad's team mate, he knows my family, no need to worry about putting on a front. _"In a way, yes," she says. "I know it's weird, coming from a shinobi – I've faced far worse things – but this seems bigger, somehow. Like, more than becoming a genin or a chuunin."

Rabbi Nara leans across the table and takes Ino's hand. "That's perfectly natural," he says, and then breaks into a smile. "But you're a bright woman, Ino. And I'm not just saying that. You'll do fine."

Ino looks at the scars on Rabbi Nara's forehead and jawline, his iron-grey hair and beard, and wonders how he's survived so long. The previous Ino-Shika-Chou trio always had a reputation for being one of Konoha's most formidable cells – with her dad's mental powers and tracking, her soon-to-be father-in-law's strength and the rabbi's tactical knowledge and shadow jutsu, they were, and still are, a force to be reckoned with. It was not for nothing that the Hokage herself had chosen Rabbi Nara as her advisor, even though she was a Christian and he a Jew. Religious divisions, Tsunade believed, were unimportant in the grand scheme of things when it came to lives being put on the line.

**Author's note:**

**Beth Din: Jewish rabbinical court who preside over religious matters**


	13. Conversion

Ino, standing naked in the mikveh room, unscrews the earrings Asuma-sensei had given her. She releases her hair from its usual ponytail and takes out her hairslides. She has a quick shower.

_This is it. The final leg._

She'd been nervous about going before the Beth Din, especially considering that Rabbi Gaara was sitting on it. Although Sunagakure and Konoha were allies now, and the Reverend Uzumaki and Rabbi Gaara had been in charge of an interfaith initiative between the two villages, she still remembered that strange and frightening boy from the Chuunin Exam days. But he'd been civil enough, as had the other two rabbis, both of them from other hidden villages, who'd introduced themselves as Rabbi Aida Munashi from Kirigakure, and Rabbi Darui from Kumogakure. They'd all asked her questions about her background, how she came to Judaism, her relationship with Chouji, whether she was prepared to deal with the threat of anti-Semitism, what changes and sacrifices she'd had to make, what parts of Judaism meant the most to her, and so forth. For her Hebrew passage, she'd picked the blessing to be said over the Torah, and read it slowly and carefully, without a hitch. Then Chouji had been invited in and the three rabbis had given her a certificate that had her Hebrew name on it. Shoshana bat Avraham. _Now I'm a rose instead of a pig, _Ino had thought.

Then Rabbi Nara had come and accompanied her and Chouji to the mikveh, and now here she is, at the final leg of the journey.

_It's time._

She walks down the small staircase into the mikveh. It's not freezing cold like she expected, but warm. She thinks of it like amniotic fluid; after all, she's about to be reborn.

"How're you doing?" Rabbi Nara calls.

"I'm just about to go under," Ino shouts back, and she takes a deep breath and ducks under the water in the foetal position, her long blonde hair flowing around her like waterlilies. The warm water embraces her.

Then she rises, says the blessing and the Shehechiyanu with Rabbi Nara and Chouji shouting, "Amen!" Her voice bounces off the tiles.

_I'm Jewish. At last, I'm Jewish. _

She towels herself off, brushes her hair, gets dressed, and walks out of the door and into Chouji's arms, and Chouji immediately bursts into tears, which sets her off in turn. Rabbi Nara smiles. He's used to converts being emotional.

"Welcome to the tribe," she can hear him say, as she and Chouji bury themselves in each other. All she can say is, "This little piggy is kosher now. I love you, Chouji. I love you."

**Author's note:**

**- Shoshana bat Avraham: the name that would be used when Ino is participating in religious activities within the synagogue e.g. being called to the Torah, although she still keeps her original name for every day life. Converts to Judaism traditionally have Hebrew names ending in 'ben/bat Avraham' (son/daughter of Abraham), as Abraham was the first convert**

**- Shehechiyanu: Jewish prayer said on special occasions, including all festivals**


End file.
